Do you stretch like a rubber band?

What is the sole purpose of a rubber band? The sole purpose of a rubber band is to stretch; if a rubber band does not stretch, it is very much useless. So what do we have in common with a rubber band? Well, we have to stretch too; meaning that we have to keep growing, learning and striving every single day to become a better person. The best way to become more valuable can only be done by stretching. If you do not stretch, then what is your purpose? If we do not keep changing, then what are we doing? In fact, change and growth are the only evidence things are alive. So be alive! I am 26 years old and I am definitely not the same person I was when I was 21. I definitely did not think the same way as I do now. Also I did not lead the same, and in fact I made some really dumb decisions. Now, 5 years later, I make less dumb decisions, but I know for sure that I’m not that same 21-year-old kid. Furthermore, 5 years from now, I will also be different and hopefully I make even fewer dumb decisions. Imagine how you will change also in the next 5 or even 10 years! Maybe you will even be unrecognizable. The point is that we should be constantly changing. The world changes so we must change with it. However, people only truly change when they want to, or they hurt so much that they have to. But it is always a conscious choice. One difference between successful people and normal people is that they learn from their mistakes, they say “never again!” or “I will never go back.” Remember GROWTH=CHANGE. In the end, life is just a big wheel of change, embrace it, and always keep stretching.

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Quote of the week.

Five years from now you will be the same person you are, except for the books your read and the people you meet

Do you have what it takes to be a leader?

Leadership is influence. The first question you have to ask yourself in order to find out if you are leadership material is: “Do I have influence over others?” If you can influence others, then you can lead. If you can lead, then you can influence others. Leaders initiate and make an impact in others’ lives. Is this you? Do you make an impact and initiate? Or do you wait for others to take the first step and then follow? There is nothing wrong with being a follower, it just means you have not learned how to lead. Furthermore, in order to lead, you must also know how to follow. Leadership attributes are hard to measure, but I will tell you this, leaders are winners. Leaders take the wheel and drive the bus. Leaders do not motivate, they inspire. You follow a leader because of what is in it for you. Additionally, a good leader does not stand on top of the mountain and calls his people; a good leader comes down from the mountain and takes his people up there with him. A good leader genuinely wants others to win. Just as Zig Ziggler used to say, “you can get anything you want in life, if you help others get what they want,” and that is exactly what leaders do. Leaders serve and help others achieve their goals. This is often hard for some people, because as humans we are competitive; we want to win and we want to beat others, so putting other people before ourselves does not always come so naturally to us. However, I guarantee you, that if you start putting others first, your life will drastically change. Will you be taken as a fool sometimes? Well, yes, but more often then not you will become liked, and you will get that chance to influence others. As speaker and author, John Maxwell says, “People don’t really care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Maxwell is right; first you have to make that connection with people in order to achieve that common ground, then give them the very best by adding value to their lives.

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Waiting Sucks

Yes. Waiting for results to happen or waiting to get certain things, really does suck. We have all suffered of impatience, especially in the world today, where our culture is so caught up and focused on having everything right away. You want that new dress you bought online fast, then just get expedite shipping, you want to listen to that new album or watch that new movie, you can download it in minutes. We are becoming so accustomed to having things instantly that, sadly, we are becoming slaves to the immediate. We want everything now and everything fast. With technology making a lot of this possible, we are forgetting about the things that do take time; it takes time to build a career, it takes time to grow a relationship, it takes time to save money. In reality, the things that are most important in life take time, as well as a lot of hard work, and extreme diligence. A definition of maturity is the ability to delay pleasure. Meaning that you have to be mature enough to prioritize what is more important to you, and say no to other things, that are not really beneficial. People are having a hard time maturing these days, and it is all because they can’t delay pleasure. People act like that 4 year old in the cereal aisle at a super market that throws a fit. Remember the paradox of life; yes life goes by fast, but also remember that life is long. Anything worthwhile will take time. Don’t be so trigger-happy for everything. Analyze your priorities, and really think what is the best thing for you. And most importantly, learn to be patient. I believe you can get anything you want in life if you have a plan, and work day in and day out to get it.

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I leave you with a quote this week,

“ THE WORLD STEPS ASIDE FOR THE MAN WHO KNOWS WHERE HE IS GOING”
–James Allen

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TRIED SOMETHING FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME?

I try to ask my self this question quite often. Unfortunately, I have noticed that our lives usually become a routine, making our life stagnant. Therefore, it is good for us to try new things; as simple as they might seem. We open the door to new opportunities and adventures, only by trying things for the first time. For example, can you remember when you had a first? First kiss, first drive, first day of school, first concert, or first bite of sushi. Remember the adrenaline throughout your body which was mixed in with a little bit of anxiety and fear? Maybe even a little bit of hesitation or resistance at the beginning? The feeling is awesome, and it is something we should continuously be feeling throughout our lives. When we are younger, our lives are filled with plenty of spontaneity; however, as we grow older we tend to conform into a routine, where we do the same things over and over again. It is easy to fall into this trap, so our job is to always look for new things to try. Even just changing the way you drive to school or work, or maybe just trying something new next time you go to your favorite restaurant. Another benefit of consistently trying new things is that it rushes creativity and imagination into our brain. Our brain becomes hit with new stimuli that it has never experienced before. This can bring new ideas and solutions to some of our problems.
Sometimes people don’t like to try new things because:
1. They are scared
2. They might not like it
3. They might fail
4. Think is a waste of time.
5. Are worried about what others say or think
However, we must understand that we actually grow and learn by trying new things. When we are babies we learn by trial and error, if we touch the stove and is hot, we will not touch it again, but we learned the lesson, we got that experience. As adults it is actually no different, we still learn a lot of things by trial and error. So go out there and do some living!

Tip of the week: This week I want you to try something for the very first time. Do something new, do something different. You decide.

 

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What makes us or breaks us

Check out the following poem

I am your constant companion,
I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.
Half the things you do might just as well turn over to me
and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.
I am easily managed –
you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done
and after a few lessons, I will do it automatically.
I am the servant of all great people;
and alas, of all failures as well.
Those who are great,
I have made great.
Those who are failures,
I have made failures.
I am not a machine,
though I work with all the precision of a machine
plus the intelligence of a human.
You may run me for a profit or run me for ruin –
it makes no difference to me.
Take me,
train me,
be firm with me,
And I will place the world at your feet.
Be easy with me,
and I will destroy you.

WHO AM I?

A HABIT.

Author (unknown)

I read this poem the other day and I completely loved it. I realized that what we do everyday either makes us or breaks us. You can definitely learn a lot about a person by looking at what they do through out the day or their daily agenda. As I started thinking about habits after I read the poem, I firmly believe 2 things about habits;

1. We ARE our habits

2. We CHOOSE our habits

I think the latter is the most important statement because we can choose our habits, therefore choose who we are; we can choose what to do or what not to do. I believe everything starts with our dreams, after our dreams are established, we then we set our goals and ultimately, our habits are what take us to our goals and dreams. However, habits do take time, and they require a lot on consistent work. Habits are both hard to form and equally hard to break, like the popular saying, “old habits die hard.” The good news is that in the end, it’s all up to us. If you really want to change, just look at the person that stares back at you every day in the mirror.

Tip of the Week:
Is there something you want to make a habit? Even if it is something small, you can start today. It takes around 31 days to make a habit, so see if you can do it for that whole period of time. Mark on your calendar today and then cross out the days until you hit 31.

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2 Basic Truths of Life That You Must Know

1. Life is difficult- Life is, and will always be difficult. Throughout our lives there will be challenges and curveballs thrown at us. We can never know what lies ahead. As I’m sure we have all experienced, we might have a great week, and then the following week have a completely crappy week. One second you are on top of the world and the next you are in the bottom of the barrel. That is what life is; a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs, that in a sense are necessary, because sometimes it takes bad moments, in order to appreciate the good ones. Furthermore, we have to be real, and accept that life its not hassle free, we must accept the challenges that life brings and enjoy the journey with the good and the bad. Even through bad experiences, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.

2. The difficulty of life applies to everyone- Yes, everyone, even though you might think that certain people have the perfect life; they actually don’t. Their lives are filled with problems just like yours and mine. We all have problems, problems are not exceptions, they happen to every single person on this earth. However, the scope of the problems and the frequency might be different for each individual person, but believe me, they are there. So don’t beat yourself up thinking others have it better, and stop wishing you had a life like theirs, because sometimes other people could be experiencing problems worse than the ones that you are going through. Ultimately, we all experience life’s problems, failures, and losses.

In conclusion, accept these two facts of life, so you become better equipped to take on the challenges that life will bring you. Know that life is difficult and it’s not fair, but you have to face it head on, in order to grow. Know that with every problem comes an opportunity, and with every opportunity comes a problem. Also, we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others; it is really not productive for us. Lastly, there will never be an easy way through life; there are no shortcuts, we will all struggle, and we will all face a series of problems through our journey. The problems will vary on our journey, but know that they will be there.

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PS- It always nice to hear that my words can inspire someone. I have always said that even if I just inspire one person then this blog is a success.

Simple might not be sexy, but it gets the job done

We all know that we live in a complex world; the beauty in this world of ours is that the simpler we live our lives, the better. If we live simple we will enjoy the process; we will enjoy our lives. I don’t know if you are familiar with the story about the fox and the hedgehog? In this story, the author, Isaiah Berlin, breaks down all the people in this world into 2 categories: hedgehogs and foxes. Foxes are complex creatures that try to do many things at once, but rarely accomplish anything. Foxes are beautiful, with their nice furry tales and pointy ears. On the other hand, hedgehogs are weird-looking creatures, but they are simple; they just look for food and take care of their home, but they are really good at it. I believe about 95 percent of the population are Foxes. These are people that try to do many things, people that live complicated lives, people that think they know everything and that everything they do is exactly right. The other 5 percent are hedgehogs; the simple people, the ones that have one vision and a purpose in life. Contemporary geniuses, like Freud in psychology and Einstein in physics, were hedgehogs; Freud with his concept of the subconscious and Einstein with his theory of relativity. These two men were not flashy, they were in fact not even considered attractive; however, they knew the world and its complexity, but they broke down this complexity in their mind to something simpler. Furthermore, the footprint they have left in this world will stay until the end of our civilization. Let’s now think about our lives, are they complex or simple? Think of the categories in the wheel of life.

1. Physical- do you have a fairly simple diet and exercise program? Or are you always worried about your weight and diet patterns?
2. Social- How are your relationships? Full of drama or pretty clear cut? Do you still act as if you were in high school filled with gossip and worrying about what others think?
3. Spiritual- Either you are a believer or your not? Pick a side don’t believe just what benefits you.
4. Financial- Handling finances might seem like a complicated matter but is not, live below your means, save, spend, invest and give. That’s it! No need to worry about how the market is or all the media frenzy about the economy.
5. Career- Are you doing what you love, are you good at it? Does it make you money? Or are you unsatisfied with your job and jumping from place to place looking for the better dollar? Are you constantly thinking of different things to do for a living and just looking for the next better “job”?
6. Intellectual- Are you continuously improving yourself? Or did you think education ended with your formal education?
7. Family- I left family at the end because it is the toughest in my opinion to control. The other 6 we can choose, but we can’t really choose our family, we are born into it. However, do try to live as simple as you can, leave drama out, don’t get so caught up in grudges or stupid fights, set your boundaries and be supportive without enabling bad behavior.

I hope all these questions make you think a bit, and I would like to leave you with one last question;

Are you a fox or a hedgehog?

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FACTS ARE BETTER THAN DREAMS

It is extremely important to have faith and to be optimistic—but equally important, is to be a realist and understand where you stand in life. This, in fact, is a paradox; you must be a dreamer and think of big things, but at the same time you have to face the brutal facts of your situation. I have always advocated that we could see the world through two sets of eyes, optimistic and pessimistic, glass half full or half empty. However, we must always have our feet planted in our reality. In order to go out there and reach for our dreams, we must have a solid benchmark of where we are starting and from there see what is attainable. For example, a child born in a foreign country could have been brought to the US as a baby, grow here, love this country, serve in the military, become a politician, but will never be the president of the United States. Unless the law, only a US born person can be president, changes, this is impossible. I believe this statue will probably never change; so he or she will never become president. Does that mean they give up? Well no, but they can’t focus all their attention into becoming president, it would be an unrealistic goal. Another example would be if I tried to play in the NBA. I don’t consider myself short in normal standards, but compared to those guys I would look like a little kid playing basketball with grown ups. With this is mind, it is probably wise for me to do something other than basketball for a living. These two might seem like very general examples, but my goal is to get you thinking in reference to your own personal goals and aspirations. I don’t know what those are, so you are going to have to write them down, face your current facts and be completely honest with yourself. Ask yourself the question; are these realistic? Sometimes only until we are completely real and honest with ourselves, is when we begin to change.

Tip of the week: Think of a situation in which you have not faced the facts. Maybe you are in denial or just don’t want to believe it, but remember facts are better then dreams, so face the facts and take action.

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Planning your one and only life

Planning is such an important concept of a person’s life, the problem is that most people spend more time planning their vacation, then planning what they want their life to look like. Plans are made so you dictate what you want your life too look like. For example, plan where you want to live, what career to have, when do you want to marry, and when or if to have kids. Furthermore, what would you like to be doing in 3 years? 5 years? 10 years? Or even 20 years? We must first plan our life and then through are choices get there. If you don’t design your life, then someone else will design it for you. We need to be doing things intentional and on purpose, especially with the choices that shape our life. Half of the year has gone by already, so set up a plan for what you want the rest of this year too look like for you, what do you want to do? What goals can be achieved by the end of the year? Design what your life should be like these last months of 2014. This year seems to be going really quick for me, but one of the things I am noticing is that the older I get, the faster time seems to go. Time is a dimension, and is all about perception. When you are having a good time or doing work you love, time flies, but when you are doing something you don’t enjoy; then time seems to pass by very slow. The reality is that time is the same for me and you, it is not faster or slower; time does not forgive and it will pass for everybody, so design your life, and do what you want to do, stop wasting time on things that are not going to get you where you want to be.

Remember, always when you set down plans or goals, they must always be in writing. There is something powerful about writing things down!

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I don’t want a good life

I’m reading this great business book called Good to Great by Jim Collins. The book is fantastic and should definitely be read by anyone with a business mind. Collins and his colleagues studied companies that suddenly sky-rocketed and went from GOOD TO GREAT. The purpose was to find out what the secret of these companies was and what moves were made by these companies that gave them their breakthrough. I am only a few chapters into the book, but what I want to focus on today on a particular topic that Collins analyzes in the very first Chapter: GOOD IS THE ENEMY OF GREAT. Think about it, Collins says why don’t we have great schools? To which he responds, because we have good schools, why don’t we have a great government? Because we have a good government, and more profoundly, WHY DON’T WE HAVE GREAT LIVES? Because we rather settle for good lives. I am almost 100 percent sure that everybody wants to live a good life, and I think everybody will agree with me on the 3 things that we all generally want out of life:

1. Be Happy
2. Be Healthy
3. Be reasonably Wealthy.

Frankly, I do want these 3 things and I do want a good life, but after reading this chapter it challenged me to stop thinking about wanting a good life; I don’t want a good life, I want a GREAT life. We only get one shot at this life so why should we settle for good when we can have great? Why settle and conform rather than becoming the best we can be? As they say, be the change you want to see in the world. If you want to have a better life be a better person, if you want better friends be a better friend, if you want a better relationship with your spouse be a better husband or wife, if you want better kids, then be a better parent, if you want a better boss, then be a better employee. It goes back to the law of reciprocity, that exactly what you send out is exactly what you get back. I think if we keep aiming higher every time and try to continuously be better, we will reach greatness.

One quick tip: When we are asked “Hi how are you?” we generally say “Good and you?” If you want to live a great life, then I challenge you to change your answer and from now on when people ask how are you doing respond “Great and you?” It is a very simple and subtle change, but it can make a big difference on the way you are perceived by the other person and it can set a tone for a completely different mood.

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